
Have you ever wondered why some days feel effortless, like you’re in perfect sync with the world, while others feel like an uphill battle? The answer may lie in the principle of polarity—the interplay between complementary forces that exist in everything around us.
Polarity is a natural law that governs life, relationships, and even the way we interact with ourselves. It's the dynamic balance between opposites: masculine and feminine, light and dark, giving and receiving, action and rest. Instead of being at odds, these energies are meant to work together, creating a flow that brings balance and harmony.
When we understand polarity in ourselves, it opens the door to understanding our connection with others—humans and animals alike. Nowhere is this dance of energies more evident than in the relationship between humans and horses.
The Nature of Polarity
Polarity is present everywhere in nature. Consider the way the sun and moon govern the rhythm of our days or how the changing seasons maintain ecological balance. Even in our bodies, we experience this dance of opposites—our heartbeat is a perfect interplay between contraction and relaxation, each one essential to sustaining life.
But polarity isn’t just a physical phenomenon. It also shapes our emotional, relational, and energetic lives. In relationships, for example, polarity can be seen in the dynamic between masculine and feminine energies. These energies aren’t about gender; they’re about qualities. Masculine energy embodies structure, focus, and action, while feminine energy reflects intuition, flow, and creativity.
Horses naturally operate in this dynamic. Their survival depends on their ability to flow between states of alertness and rest, action and stillness, sensitivity and strength. Studies have shown that horses’ heart rates mirror those of humans they interact with, emphasizing their ability to reflect and respond to our energy (Gehrke, Baldwin, & Scharmann, 2011). When we connect with horses, they mirror our energy and invite us into alignment, creating a unique opportunity to explore and restore our own polarity.
Signs of Polarity Imbalance
When polarity is out of balance, we often feel it as tension or struggle—both within ourselves and in our relationships, including with our horses. Here are some common signs:
In Yourself: You may feel stuck in overdrive, always "doing" without resting, or conversely, you may struggle to take action, feeling stuck or uninspired. Horses sense this imbalance and often reflect it back, becoming agitated or withdrawn in response.
In Relationships: You might notice a lack of connection or attraction, miscommunication, or power struggles. With horses, this can manifest as a struggle to communicate clearly or a breakdown in trust.
In Life: Burnout, constant conflict, or a sense of being pulled in too many directions can all signal that your energies are misaligned. Horses, being deeply attuned to energy, will often amplify this feeling during interactions, bringing it to your awareness.
One study published in Animals journal found that equine-assisted interventions often help participants recognize and regulate their emotional states, as horses provide immediate feedback through their behavior (Brandt, 2013). This highlights the role horses play in teaching us to restore balance and harmony.
Reclaiming Balance Through Polarity
The key to restoring balance is awareness—understanding how these energies are showing up in your life and consciously working to harmonize them. Horses are extraordinary partners in this process, offering immediate feedback on your energetic state and providing a safe, nonjudgmental space to practice alignment.
Here are some steps to get started:
Observe Your Patterns: Take note of when you feel energized and when you feel depleted. Are you pushing yourself too hard without resting? Or are you stuck in a cycle of indecision? Simply observing these patterns is the first step to realignment.
With Horses: Notice how your horse responds to your energy. Are they calm and engaged, or restless and distant? Their behavior often mirrors what you’re unconsciously projecting.
Balance Action and Rest: Polarity thrives in rhythm. Just as day turns into night, your life needs periods of action and stillness. If you’ve been in "go mode" for too long, schedule time to recharge. If you’ve been resting too much, take a bold action to regain momentum.
With Horses: Approach your time with them as a partnership. Alternate between leading with purpose (masculine energy) and pausing to listen and connect (feminine energy).
Cultivate Both Energies:
To nurture your masculine energy, focus on setting goals, creating structure, and following through on commitments.
To enhance your feminine energy, practice creativity, listen to your intuition, and embrace moments of stillness or spontaneity.
With Horses: Practice switching between clear direction (masculine) and soft receptivity (feminine). For example, when asking your horse to move, use a clear and intentional cue (masculine), then soften your energy to allow their response (feminine).
Foster Polarity in Relationships: In relationships, polarity creates connection and intimacy. If you feel disconnected, explore how you and your partner are expressing (or suppressing) these energies. Sometimes, simply shifting how you show up—bringing more structure or more flow—can rekindle balance and attraction.
With Horses: Pay attention to the dynamic between you and your horse. Are you too forceful, or are you hesitant and unclear? Adjusting your energy can create a deeper bond and more effortless communication.
Real-World Example: The Horse as a Mirror
We Are Overpowered Externally to the Degree We Are Disempowered Internally
Sally was feeling completely overpowered at work. A co-worker had been consistently overstepping boundaries—ignoring directions, behaving unethically, and even taking credit for Sally’s work. Inside, she was furious. She felt the injustice deeply, but she kept quiet. Sally avoided conflict at all costs. She didn’t want to risk being seen as petty by her boss, especially since this co-worker was adored by everyone in the office. So, she put on a fake smile, shoved her feelings down, and endured her frustration day after day.
Her one escape was the barn, where she spent time with her horse, Silver. But even her time there wasn’t the sanctuary it used to be. Silver, once calm and affectionate, had started acting out. He would shove Sally with his shoulder, ignore her personal space, and seem indifferent to her presence. The more Sally tried to control his behavior, the more pushy and unmanageable he became.
Then one day, out of nowhere, Silver bit her. The pain and shock stopped Sally in her tracks. In that moment, all the frustration, anger, and sadness she had been burying for weeks came rushing to the surface. She burst into tears, sobbing as she finally let go of the emotions she had been suppressing.
As Sally cried, something shifted. She began to feel a sense of relief, as though a heavy weight had been lifted from her chest. Her nervous system calmed, and her body relaxed for the first time in weeks. When she finally looked up, Silver was standing quietly next to her, his head lowered. He yawned repeatedly and blew out through his nose—a horse’s way of releasing tension and showing relaxation.
In that moment, Sally realized that Silver had been reflecting her inner turmoil all along. Her disempowerment at work had been mirrored in her dynamic with him. Just as she allowed her co-worker to walk all over her, she had unintentionally allowed Silver to do the same.
This is how polarity works. When we are disempowered internally—avoiding confrontation, suppressing emotions, and disconnecting from our truth—it shows up externally, in our relationships and interactions, often in surprising and painful ways.
Sally felt a deep clarity in that moment. While releasing her emotions brought temporary relief, she knew that if she didn’t address the situation at work, the cycle would repeat itself. Silver had shown her what she needed to see: she could no longer ignore her inner voice. She needed to stand in her power, set boundaries, and address the imbalance in her life.
This is the power of horses and polarity—they reflect what we carry inside, giving us the awareness and opportunity to make tangible changes that lead to harmony, both within and without.
Polarity Is a Lifelong Dance
Understanding and working with polarity isn’t about achieving perfection; it’s about embracing the natural ebb and flow of life. Horses, as prey animals, inherently understand this balance and live in harmony with it. They move from alertness to calm with ease, from connection to independence as needed. By observing and working with horses, we can learn to embody this same flow.
When we lean into the dynamic balance of polarity, life begins to feel more aligned, relationships become more fulfilling, and even challenges feel like opportunities for growth. Horses are not just our partners in this journey—they are our greatest teachers.
Start observing polarity in your life and with your horse today. Where do you feel harmony? Where do you feel resistance? Awareness is the first step toward creating a life—and a horse-human connection—that flows with purpose, passion, and balance.
Join the Conversation
Thank you for taking the time to read this post! I'd love to hear your thoughts, questions, or experiences—feel free to share them in the comments below. If you found this blog helpful, please share it with fellow equestrians who might benefit from these insights. Together, we can build a more compassionate and connected equine community! 🐴✨
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Supporting Research
Gehrke, E. K., Baldwin, A., & Scharmann, S. (2011). "The Effects of Human-Horse Heart Rate Synchronization During Interaction." Journal of Equine Veterinary Science.
Brandt, C. (2013). "Equine-Facilitated Psychotherapy as a Complementary Treatment Intervention." Animals.
I love that horses will give us that boost or realization of what we need to do that will help heal us. And sometimes we have to get bitten to move forward. ❤️